You Smell Like Purple
by luckycharms92
Summary: There is crazy laughter coming from the fire station. No one understands what is going on. Diana and Astrid go to check it out only to find our favorite boys are stoned! Total OOC-ness, but that happens when you're high on pot! Collection of one-shots.
1. You Smell like Purple

Rating might change~

Drug content and language.

Okay, so after 2 big containers of ice cream, 10 snicker bars, a box of cookies and 4 liters of Pepsi and spending the night with my silly silly girlfriends, I decided to type this in memory of that night. (No we were not stoned, just high on sugar)

Enjoy, hope some of you find it somewhat amusing. Even sober I find it quite funny, but that could just be me.

* * *

You Smell like Purple

Laughing.

Crazy, wild laughing.

That's what Diana and Astrid heard when they walked into the fire station. Actually, that's what everyone heard from miles away, but many were too scared to go in because they all knew that Drake and Caine where in there with Sam, Quinn and Edilio.

Them plus laughing, didn't sound as if anything good was going on. So, the only two girls courageous enough to check out what was going on walked into the station and went up to the second floor.

However, as they neared the door, they noticed some smoke coming from under the door.

"What the fu-" Diana began as she opened the door, but was cut off by the force of the smoke engulfing them both; the girls coughed and tried to wave away the smoke as they walked in.

Covering their mouths, they looked around the room for the boys, which wasn't hard to find.

The boys were in the corner, on the ground, laughing as if they had seen or heard the funniest thing in the world. However, both girls knew something else was up.

"Um," Astrid said as they neared the boys, but before she could say next the next few words, Drake spotted them and screamed.

"Oh my god! Girls!" He yelled, causing the other boys to grow dead silent as they looked at the girls. Then, they exchanged looks and burst out laughing.

"We are so sexy, we have girls," Quinn giggled uncontrollably, that it was hard even to understand what he was saying. Astrid glanced over at Diana.

Diana rolled her eyes, recognizing the smell. She shook her head, mumbling under her breath, "Idiots…"

"But girls have cooties!" Sam stood up, suddenly. The boys looked up at him, their eyes wide and mouths open as he continued. "Cooties are bad! They come to kill us with their cooties; we get rid of the cootie girls!"

Sam thrust his fist into the air with the last sentence, standing there for a moment with a serious look on his face.

The other boys were silent, that was until Drake snorted loudly, sending the rest back into giggles.

"But the cootie girls are HOT! Like smoking!" Caine protested, causing Diana to pinch the bridge of her nose.

Astrid was still very confused, so she looked over at Diana for help. The other girl shook her head.

"They're stoned…all of them," she muttered. "I think they found a bag of pot or something and burned the whole bag up. Probably burned whatever brain cells they had left too, which wasn't much to begin with."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Sam staggered over to Astrid and put an arm around the freaked out girl's shoulders. "You smell good…like purple."

"Shh," Caine hissed to the other boys, who were still on the ground. "I think Sammy is making a move on the blondie."

"Vaya amigo!" Edilio shouted, "Consigue algunos!"

Quinn began giggling softly, nudging Edilio in the side. "Dude, like…what language is that? Are you an alien? OHMYFUCKINGGOD! EDILIO IS LIKE E.R!"

"Dude," Drake laughed, "It's E.T, not E.R. God, you're so stupid!"

"Well, not as stupid as you!" Quinn stuck his tongue out at Drake.

"Yeah, well you're on stupid pills! You're more stupid than me!"

"They're no such thing as stupid pills! Everyone knows that."

"Yeah-huh, they so exist."

"Nuh-uh." Quinn shook his head.

They kept bickering back and forth, until Caine cut in.

"Shh," Caine hissed, hitting Quinn on the head. "Dude, like blondie is trying to make his move. He needs quiet."

"Oh, sorry," Quinn whispered, covering his mouth, nodding his head. He looked back over at Sam and Astrid, who was desperately trying to get away from the stoned boy. But, he looked back at Edilio and scooted away from the boy, closer to Caine.

He poked the other boy's shoulder. Caine simply moved away, still watching Sam intently.

"Like, wanna go out sometime?" Sam waggled his brows at Astrid. He looked over at the wide-eyed, open-mouthed boys and winked at them.

"No," Astrid said sharply, sending Caine into howling laughter for some reason.

"But…but…" Sam bottom lip quivered, and then he sobbed. "But, I love you! I LOVE YOU ASTRID! Marry me!"

"Ah, dude! She said no…" Caine said as he got up and walked over. Then, he spotted Diana and pulled Sam away from Astrid.

Astrid quickly ran over to Diana and hid behind the girl. Diana sighed, thinking it was time that they left since things would only get worse if they stayed.

"Hey, I think that dark haired girl is staring at me," Caine whispered to Sam. "Think he likes me."

"Like dude, I thought she was your girlfriend," Sam sobbed. "You lucky bastard with your girlfriend…" Then he suddenly shouted over at Astrid. "Please have my children! I need my legacy to go on."

"Dude, your 'legacy' is probably like, this big," Drake giggled as he put his hands up about a centimeter apart.

"So not!" Sam yelled, blushing. "It's like this big!"

He threw his hands far apart.

Edilio jaw dropped to the ground. "YOU HAVE A FUCKING CAR IN YOUR PANTS!"

Quinn giggled, "No he doesn't!"

"Fuck yeah I do!" Sam pumped his fist into the air.

"Prove it!" Drake shouted.

Sam fell silent for a little bit, blushing once again. He looked over at Diana and Astrid. Diana was already making her way to the door, wondering why she ever thought about checking up on them. Caine, on the other hand, was edging his way over towards Diana.

Looking back at Drake, Sam whispered, "Like, they're girls around."

"If it is a car, then you'll totally get the blondie!" Drake whispered back.

Sam stared at Drake, but nodded, thinking the other stoned boy was completely right. Then, shooting a grin and wink at Astrid, he began wildly pulling at his belt.

Astrid, at first, watched in horror, but screamed and ran out when Sam wiggled out of his pants.

Diana closed her eyes, wacked away Caine and walked out in a nice orderly fashion, leaving behind the five stoned boys, one of them in his underwear.

Sam looked at the others and said, "Like, she ran away."

"Maybe she can't handle a car…" Quinn giggled.

"You know something," Sam began to sob. "I love you guys. You're all just like totally cool and not…you know…you not not cool and all..."

Caine walked over and hugged Sam. He said, "Dude, like, I totally agree."

Quinn's eyes teared up, causing him to get up and join the hug. Edilio soon followed. Drake last to join.

After a few minutes, Sam said, "You all smell like purple. I love purple."

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Do review, I enjoy them~

I'll be your BFFFE!

Also, if I get enough reviews, I'll most definitely write up something about three special ladies~ XD


	2. It's Removable

Hmm, took me a while to type this up...I don't know, I don't think this is really all that funny. I was on many sugar highs, but it's hard to write up funny things for girls for some reason x.x Anyways, enjoy.

Review and you'll see Jack, Albert, Orc and Howard in the next one, which will be 100 times funnier! XD Hopefully...

Oh and thank you to all my reviewers o_o there were so many, never had that many for one chapter...well, thank you to Permanently, Hyperactive Lioness, WithoutARemedy, ArmyGirl0604, Valkerie, SummerFeally, FandomApocalypse, PopItLikeAPopTart, Chutora, Darwin51, Silk, ARandomBlonde, MushuThePowerful, Josslyn Blanchard and Caris!

* * *

It's Removable

"Chug, chug, chug!" Astrid and Diana chanted as Lana finished off her tenth can. She slammed the empty can on the small coffee table, which was already littered with cans.

"Woo!" Lana howled as the other two whooped loudly, before all three burst into laughter.

"Go Lana!" Diana giggled as she reached over the side of the couch for another can.

"Girl is wild," Astrid said with her hand out for another can as well. Diana passed down the cans for the other two, before keeping one for herself.

"We all be wild tonight. It is ladies night and we got the booze!" Diana raised a can into the air, letting out another hoot, followed by Lana and Astrid. "Okay, let's make a toast. We got the looks."

"The boobs," Lana giggled, raising her own can to the air.

"And the boys!" Astrid added, the last one to raise her can.

"One amazing toast!" Lana chirped in, but it was slightly slurred.

All three brought their cans together in the toast. Then, tilted their heads back and chugged down the rather warm beverage.

Lana was the first one to guzzle it all down. She giggled as she slammed it the empty can against her forehead and threw it on the ground. "Guess wut, Assyt-"

"It Astrid, bee-yotch," Astrid yelled, throwing her empty can at the squealing girl.

"No, Assy! Suit you better," Diana yelled. Astrid was about to protest, but paused and then a grin lit up her face.

"Okay, but you Diana…you Dana…Ana..." Astrid scrunched up her face thinking of different names before screaming, "ANAL!"

Lana fell onto the floor, laughing. Diana narrowed her eyes at Astrid, except turned them on Lana when she heard the thud. With a tight smile, she spat, "What you laughing at…La…La...LAME!"

Lana sat up, the amusement gone. All three were silent, exchanging looks, yet then all three burst out laughing as they grabbed up another can from a new case.

**Another case later…**

"You know something," Astrid leaned on Lana's shoulder. Her breath stank of alcohol; then again, all three of them had that breath. "Sam and Caine…and all of 'em boys, think they so high and mighty."

"They boys ladies," Diana chuckled. "They think that because they got those penises."

"I thought they only had one," Lana said, her eyes growing wide just at the thought.

"Nooooo," Astrid gasped. "They have two balls and ONE penis. If they have two, we be in a LOT of trouble."

"Or have a LOT of fun…" the dark haired girl raised both eyebrows and smirked, sending the other two girls into giggles.

Lana sobered up, well her laughter did. Leaning back against the couch, she asked, "How do you know if they only have one? I mean have either of you _seen_ one?"

Diana and Astrid sat there in silence. Surprisingly, it was the blonde who broke it. "I have."

Diana and Lana looked over at Astrid, both shocked, but they began to laugh.

With a crazy big grin, the blonde winked. "Oh yeah, in biology!"

Diana rolled her eyes and reached over Lana to hit Astrid on the head.

"Like, that sooooo doesn't count!" She shrieked out in laughter. "Anywaaaaaaaay that NOT the point."

"Get to it Anal!"

"Shut it Assyyy tuh Genuuuuuiiisss," Diana snapped. "Okay, they have to have one. I mean Caine have one, Drake have one-"

"But they all white boys!" Lana cut in. She shook her head. "No, what about them exotic boys?"

"Who's exotic?" Astrid rolled her eyes, getting up from the couch. She was stumbling to the other end of the couch to pick up another can of beer.

"Uh…Edilio!"

"So he have two?" Diana giggled.

"No, he don't." Astrid said before taking a big swig from the can.

"Yes he does! See he from Mexicono and we only used to the Americane boys, mean he be different everywhere," Lana explained, acting as if she were right.

"No!" Astrid argued.

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Hey, hey!" Diana staggered between the two. "No fighting. Instead, we go check it out."

The two girls fell silent, thinking it over.

Lana finally asked, "How we check it out?"

"Well, he outside patrolling, making sure everyone is okay," Diana mumbled. The other two nodded, listening intently. Diana moved closer to them, putting one arm around Lana's shoulders and the other around Astrid's. She pulled them in and whispered, "We go outside." They nodded. "And then we find him." Another nod. "Finally, we…ask him!"

"Genius!" Lana exclaimed.

Astrid simply blinked at both of them, before asking, "Will it work?"

"Yeah, let go, I'll show you." Diana nodded. With a shrug, Lana and Astrid followed Diana out the door into the dark night. They stumbled and burst out into laughter all the way to the plaza, where Edilio was talking to two younger kids. Probably chastising them for something, but they were gone soon enough, allowing the three now ditzy girls to stagger right on up to him.

"Edilio, Edilio," Lana said, running up to him, but tipped over her own feet, making him to move forward to catch her. She blushed, but stood up, gesturing for the other girls to come over. Leaning agianst him, she said, "We have a question for you."

Astrid nodded, wrapping her arms around Edilio's neck. Diana frowned at Astrid, saying, "Move Assy!"

She pushed Astrid off him, right onto the ground. Edilio was about to help her up, but Diana shook her head and made him look at her. She giggled, "Sooooooooooo, we were wondering…" She glanced over at Lana, who was busy examining his ear. With a shrug, Diana went on. "Do you have two penises or one penises?"

Edilio's eyes widened and he chuckled nervously, trying to back away from the girls. But, when he moved, or tried to move away from them, he ended up tripping over Astrid, who was still struggling to get up.

Then, all three girls tried to climb on top of him to see who was right, Assy or Lame.

Edilio pushed the girls off and ran away.

All three sat there, speechless. They watched him glance back, and then keep on running.

"What up with him?" Lana finally asked. She seemed to be the first one to break all silent moments.

"Dunno," Astrid said with a shrug. However, she giggled, "Maybe he on his period."

"That explains a lot…" Diana said with a far off gaze in her eyes.

"They don't get periods." Lana frowned.

"If they can have two penises, they can have periods, LAME." Astrid stuck out her tongue at Lana.

"But how does that work? They don't have vaginas!"

Astrid fell silent as she thought about it. Now, all three were still on the ground in the plaza, none of thinking they should move anytime soon. After all, there were no cans of beer around for them to moves towards...

"I got it!" She yelled suddenly, startling the other two, who were beginning to drift into a drunken slumber. "I got it!"

"Then say it, Assy," Diana grunted.

"Okay, Anal," Astrid drawled. "You see, it's all quite logical. They have penises, but they are removable!"

"No way…" Lana's and Diana's eyes went wide at the thought.

"Yeah, they super glue it on and then they just pull it off for a few days once a month!" Astrid went on.

"Prove it!"

"How? Our exotic boy is gone." Lana pointed out while pouting at the thought.

That's when Diana stood up, exclaiming, "Caine!"

Without explaining any farther, she began running, tripping and crawling towards town hall. Astrid and Lana exchanged looks, shrugged and ran after her. They all stumbled up the steps and into the building, but that's when Diana turned to the other two and hushed them.

Lana and Astrid covered their mouths, shushing the other and giggling at the same time. Diana slapped both of them on the head.

"I say shh," Diana hissed, shutting both of the girls up, but they stuck their tongues at her. She then continued down the hall towards the main office. As they neared the office, Diana turned back to face them, she whispered. "Okay, here what we do. I sneak in, be all sexy and then I pull down his pants and we'll see if it's removable.

Astrid and Lana nodded, then began shushing the other. Diana smacked them all lightly on the head before staggering into the room.

The two odd girls kept shushing the other until they heard some talking on the other side of the door. They quickly walked up to the door and pressed their ears against it, listening. Vaguely, they could hear Caine ask Diana if she was okay.

And then…

"Diana, are you drunk?"

Giggles.

…

"Um, what are you doing?"

"Nutin'."

…

"Uh, wh-why are…you pulling on my pants?"

More giggles and a few hiccups.

"You'll see…"

…

A very high-pitched, girly scream cut through the night air.

Edilio cringed in the clump of bushes he was hiding behind, having heard the scream. He knew those devil spawns were coming after him next.


End file.
